Sunday, July 24, 2011

The Opposite of Martha

It happened again...I tried to be all crafty with my kids by baking and creating things.  It didn't work so well!  What is wrong with me?!!  I could do so many crafty*things when I taught preschool and elementary school...that's 12 and 24 kids in those classes and I can't even handle my own 3 children.  Why?!!
(*Yes, I know "crafty" means something else besides doing crafts, my husband loved Beastie Boys in high school and we used to drive around in his car you could hear before see  blasting Beastie Boys.  "She's Crafty, she's gets around..."  She gets around, right, get it.  But crafty?  What does that mean?  Not make crafts?  Then what?  Why do songs never explain what things mean?  Like O.P.P.  by Naughty by Nature...what does that mean?  )

Here are the details:

1.  A fun cooking activity on a hot day!:  Let's make a chocolate cake!  It's only 100 degrees outside but we need something to do and baking sounds like fun!  And since we're trying to be more healthy, let's make a low cholesterol cake!  Perfect!  The 2 older kids and I whip together the ingredients, baked to perfection, cheers, no mess ups!  Put the kids to bed while the cakes cool and about an hour later, I go in to frost with store bought frosting (let's not get carried away) and put the first knife full and the cake underneath crumbles.  Every time frosting touched the cake, it crumbled more and more!  Then, I tried to rearrange the cake with my hands and it just got worse.  Insert pulling hair, a few choice words, and near tears by myself!  I somehow managed to cover the cake with frosting and the family inhaled it (it was like they were practicing for a cake eating contest, that will be my next numbered post) and all was well, except I don't know what went wrong!  Martha, can you explain to me the crumbling of the cake when we followed directions to a t?

2.  Cake eating contest:  Trying to keep the house clean when friends are coming over!  I spent the day keeping our children entertained, fed, and civil (can't always accomplish all 3 in 1 day a lot of days) and things were going great!  I spent nap time cleaning and putting things away because I had a few friends coming over that night.  Go to swimming lessons, make dinner and tell Eric, "Please, just take care of them while I finish getting the kitchen cleaned up and food ready for my friends."  I go to change clothes after I clean up dinner and return to the cake eating contest.  There was chocolate cake all over the kitchen and my children, like head to toe, floor to ceiling, with the table and counters in between.  They were all licking their plates with big smiles on their plate and Eric had the look of pride, "They love your cake!  When do you want me to take them upstairs?  Oh, need help cleaning up?"  Not so calmly, I said just get them out of here, and tried my best to not completely lose it (didn't do so well, I'm not perfect).  So, would Martha allow chocolate cake near her kitchen before friends coming over?  NEVER!  How would she clean up crumbled chocolate cake off her children* and kitchen (*she only had 1 child, so there Martha!)?  Luckily, I have sweet, understanding friends and most of the kitchen was clean by the time they arrived!  And my family is very loving and forgiving!

3.  Play-doo!:  Why I hate play-doo!  Loved it when I taught, so great for building children's fine motor skills, prepare holding crayons and pencils, and great for the imagination!  All at school!  At home, I see it as a mess that gets into and not limited to:  the blinds, chairs, table crease, tile, crocs, children's fingernails, hair, cabinets, couches, carpet, light bulbs, and Wii remotes.  Now, what you must be thinking is, why do you even have play--doo if you don't have a strong love for it?  Good question!  I had a baby-sitter come
 and watch the younger 2 and told to play with anything EXCEPT play-doo!  Martha, what?  Advice?

4.  Cleaning:  Spilled Cocoa Krispies!  They were on sale, I had a coupon, a win win!  Until the morning Molly begged for them, she's a toast and banana with peanut butter girl, so I said, "Just don't make a big mess!"  She did great until she was full, and started smashing those Cocoa Krispies with her spoon.  Oh, these are dry by the way, no milk in the bowl!  I'm doing the usual morning "stuff" of changing diapers, making breakfast, ironing Eric's work clothes (I'm such a sucker), and who knows what else, so by the time I found her, there was a huge mess!  Natural consequence, clean up your mess, I even offered to clean to mess on the table, knowing she couldn't do the table and floor.  An hour and a half later, tears, screams, a few choice words from Molly because I'm a "mean, poopy head mommy," and the mess was cleaned up!  Have never seen Martha give tips about a)cleaning up smashed Cocoa Krispies b)  with a screaming 3 year old  c) keeping the curious, fun-loving, helpful little brother out of the mess  and d) keeping my calm and composure.

These are the reasons why I'm the opposite of Martha.

1 comment:

  1. I love crafting, but just don't have time. Martha's world is perfect. She surely doesn't have our day to day to worry about! :)

    Great to meet you and hope to talk to you soon!

    ReplyDelete

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