A very true and real conversation I had with my four year old today during our afternoon snack. He currently finds everything with farting, peeing, and pooping HILARIOUS!
"Mom, I went poop during nap time." (Or rest time or play time in my room for him)
"Oh, good job bud! Did you need help wiping?"
"No, it wasn't a very big poop. You only wipe when it's really big."
"Wait, you didn't wipe after you pooped? GO RIGHT NOW TO WIPE!!!" (My voice gradually rising!)
"But Mom, you only wipe when it's big and it wasn't BIG!! IT WAS SMALL!!" (His voice gradually rising!)
"You always need to wipe after you poop. No matter how big or small. Now go wipe, please." (What a great way to teach manners!)
"Mommy, it was so small and it didn't make many noises. When I have a big poop, it sounds like this..."(insert farting noises and laughing from 4 year old).....still laughing....oh, more farting noises...wait, laughing now from the 4 year old and 9 month old (he's so innocent and is going to be corrupted!)
"Go, go, right now and wipe. NOW!!!"
He goes to wipe, showing me there isn't anything to wipe and comes back to the kitchen table. He continues eating as if nothing has happened.
"So, did you wash your hands after you wiped?"
"I don't need to, the poop was small and there wasn't much on the toilet paper."
I almost threw him out the window, but don't worry, I didn't. I took several deep breaths and instead we had a very similar conversation as the above, except it was about hand washing.